A NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: I still hate clinkers. My blood pressure is starting to rise just thinking about them!!!
Originally published on October 28, 2009.
This person isn’t typically encountered in a store, so technically, they’re not a customer. But what I’m about to describe seems to generate such rage among working wine stiffs that it’s worth a rant.
First, a bit of background. Anyone who’s worked as a wine importer, sales rep, or brand manager has probably spent their fair share of time standing behind a table at some major consumer tasting event, pouring wine for thirsty customers who seem to have no idea that the buckets on the table are there for spitting.
The grand daddy of these events just wrapped up: the Grand Tastings that are part of the Wine Spectator’s New York Wine Experience. $250 per ticket. 250 wineries spread across two gigantic floors of the Marriott Marquis hotel. Trophy wines everywhere: Bordeaux First Growths, California cult wines, top-of-the-line Champagnes. You’re probably not going to get to taste some funky, cool thing from the Jura or the far northern reaches of Italy, but as much as I hate to admit it, it’s still pretty impressive. At least until the lack of spitting turns everyone all sloppy.
So in the last week, in the lead up to the event, there was a lot of chatter among industry wine folk about their time behind the tables. And what was the most frequently mentioned topic? It wasn’t any particular taste of big name trophy wine. It certainly wasn’t the food. It wasn’t even tales of decanters used as spit buckets (although if people actually spit, this would probably happen more often.)
No, the big topic was the “clinkers.” Alright, no one really calls them clinkers. They’re usually referred to as “those insanely annoying people who raise their glass and clink it against your bottle as you’re trying to pourthe m wine.”
This little raising-of-the-glass motion could be the most universally reviled movement in the wine industry. Just mention it to someone who’s had to work behind a table at a wine tasting…and watch their blood start to boil. Mine boils just thinking about it.
Why do people clink?
Perhaps they don’t realize that the person on the other side of the table is a highly skilled wine pourer.
Perhaps they don’t notice the slow pours on the bottle, which are indeed meant to force the wine to….you know…pour slowly.
Perhaps they don’t realize that the pourer is fully aware that he’s pouring at a wine tasting, not a drinking.
Perhaps they just don’t realize they can spit, and instead, fear the consequences of being required to drain the entire content of every glass they’re poured and therefore, the clinking thing is just a fully understandable attempt at self-preservation.
Or….perhaps they’re just too rude to utter a simple “just a little please.”
Really now, why talk when you can just clink?