That Customer #2

Originally published on August 22, 2009.

This is the second installment in our recurring That Customer feature. Now just to reiterate (in case you don’t feel like clicking through to the original post) – “these” customers are annoying not because of anything that has to do with wine. They would probably be annoying to anyone who works behind a counter for a living. They quite possibly could just be annoying, period.

So…onto the complaining part

That Customer #2:

When we close for the night we follow this basic protocol before starting to count out for the night:

  1. Bring in the chalkboard sign
  2. Roll down the light/heat blocking curtains
  3. Dim the lights to just-barely-glowing level
  4. Lock the door
  5. Perform final closing chores

As you might guess, numbers 2 and 3 make the store a little dark. More than a little dark. More like nightclub- or trendy-bar dark. Can’t-see-the-labels dark

Now, imagine you walk into a wine store that’s this dark.

Would you think, “Gosh, this must be some new trend in wine retailing. Makes it a little touch difficult to see the prices, but hey, it’s kind of cool.”

No, you would probably think, “Oops, they’re about to close! Better hurry up.” You might even ask if we’re about to close. And we would say, “Yes, but come on in and pick something out.” We wouldn’t say “quickly” but it would sort of be implied. And you would come on in and pick something out…quickly. Because you would have noticed that we’re about to close.

Unless you’re That Customer.

In which case, you would walk into a near-dark store and just wander around slowly picking up bottles (in the dark), trying to read the labels (in the dark), ignoring our request to let us know if you need help (as we stand in the dark.)

That Customer somehow doesn’t notice that the shades are pulled, the lights are off and we’re counting the cash register out by the light of the bathroom because….we’re about to close! That Customer probably wouldn’t notice if we snuck up behind them, put a kraft paper wine bag over his head, and whisked them down the cellar stairs. Well, they would probably notice the whisking part, but nothing before that.

OK, ok…maybe we should lock the door and just not let anyone in. But sometimes a customer sneaks by just as we’re about to put our key in the lock – or appears outside just after. And it would be cruel and unusual punishment to deny someone wine when they’re so close they can practically touch it. So since most people can pick out a bottle 10 minutes it takes us to finish the other closing-up chores, we let them in. But too many times waiting for that customer to wander around in the dark….we might have to change our policy.

So please, don’t be That Customer – you could ruin it for everyone.